When I was younger I would hear adults say that if you wanted to know the truth, just ask an old person or a child. I’ve come to learn just how accurate this statement is about the young and the old. I remember once my grandmother telling me how she didn’t like a new hairstyle and what it reminded her of upon looking at me. She told me my hair looked like a mop! She took the wind out of my sail because I just knew that I was doing something big with my freshly crimped hair. I never wore that look again after her comments to me. I wasn’t angry at her, but I was sorely disappointed.
Fast forward to my life as a parent and I’ve come to see how my kids and other tiny humans have no filter. They say exactly what they think and feel without apology. If you can’t handle it you will live your life in such pain and agony because every day there will be something said by your child that will hurt your feelings, or make you to feel some kind of way. Here’s the most recent interaction for demonstrating the no filter aspect of kids.
#1: Mom, why are you dressed like that?
Me: Oh, I’m going to workout after I drop you off at school.
#1: You don’t look like you’re going to bootcamp (which I usually do).
Me: Oh, I’m not. I’m going to kickboxing.
#1: Kickboxing? You sure you can do that?
Me: What would make you think that I can’t?
#1: Well, I don’t know if it will help you.
Me: Again, why would you think that kiddo?
#1: Is it going to help you lose your (insert hesitancy and him pointing to his body parts) belly and booty?
Me: I snickered to let him know that it was okay what he asked. Yes, this type of workout will allow for me to reach my goals. You know, my stomach shifted after having you and your brother.
#1: What about your booty?
Me: I’ve always had a big booty, and I’m okay with that. Just trying to make sure I’m toned and strong all over kiddo. Now go and finish getting ready for school. ( I really wanted to cut this conversation short because I knew that kid #2 would soon want to join in on the booty talk, LOL!)
Now anyone who knows me, knows that my booty is quite endowed. I was told by a friend that she (and yes I refer to my parts as she) has her own area code. Regardless of my dress size, I’ve always been endowed in the upper and lower departments because of genetics. I am a curvy girl and have been for quite some time. I’m okay with that, but again this is not a conversation I wanted to continue with my kid. I appreciated his observations, but I did not care for the silent judgement of what is big and small on my body. I’d rather be my only judge and jury. Trust me, no one can ever judge me better than I can judge myself. Now, I could’ve taken this critique and internalized it by eating all kinds of delicious snacks and treats. However, I chose to take his words and use them as motivation for reaching my goals. Trust me, this wasn’t a big “no filter” moment, but there are times when it does get the best of me. And I believe that we’ve all had those moments.
This brief conversation is a reflection of just some of the many things I hear in a day from either kid #1 or #2. It’s my new normal, even if I don’t care for the lack of filtering that takes place in our discussions. There are days where it’s quite welcomed and enjoyed by me, and then there are other days where I ‘m just not in the mood. This day just happened to be a day of welcoming. Hopefully, I will get better with the “no filter” moments, and you will too. Until the next blog….peace and blessings to you!